My Father's Day Gift
Last Sunday as I was driving home to spend the day with my family, two of my children called me on my cell phone to wish me a happy Father’s Day. Yes…you read that correctly, I said two of my children. You see, besides being the Vocation Director for the Diocese, I am also part-time campus minister at Rhode Island College. So, on this special Sunday, two students that I know very well from their involvement in campus ministry called to let me know that they were thinking of me on Father’s Day.
Needless to say, it was a wonderful Father’s Day gift; I was truly touched by their thoughtfulness. And after the call ended I thought to myself: they get it. They understand the spiritual fatherhood of the priest. I call them my children because just as they acknowledged my spiritual fatherhood, I acknowledge that the Lord has entrusted them to my care in a special way. Like all priests, I am called to be a spiritual father, and it brings me a tremendous amount of joy knowing that these two students grasp that reality.
People will often ask a priest, “Father, don’t you wish you were married? Don’t you wish you had children of your own?” My response to this question is simple: I am married and I do have children. This is not wishful or delusional thinking; it is not something the priest conjures up so that he can “feel good” about himself since he does not have his own wife or biological children. Spiritual fatherhood is a profound truth that gives shape to the life of every priest. The priest gives himself to the Church as a husband gives himself to his wife, and the priest is called to be a spiritual father to the children that God has entrusted to him.
The great St. Paul wrote about his own spiritual fatherhood to his children in Corinth: “Even if you should have countless guides to Christ, yet you do not have many fathers, for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15). He understood that he was “fathering” his children as he preached the gospel. And as you read the Letters of St. Paul it is clear that he had true fatherly concerns: he experienced the anxiety of a father when he worried about his children; he experienced the sorrow and frustration of a father when his children strayed from the path of the Lord; and he experienced the joy and pride of a father when his children made progress in living the Christian life.
If a priest is to live his vocation to the fullest, then it is crucial that he grasp this concept of spiritual fatherhood; but it is also important for a man who is discerning a call to the priesthood. The truth is that a man who is discerning the priesthood ought to be able to see himself as being a good father and husband in the physical realm. If he can’t see himself as being a good father and husband, then he should not believe that he would make a good priest.
So, if any man believes he is sacrificing being a father and a husband when he becomes a priest, he is only partly correct. True, he will not have his own biological children nor will he share marital intimacy with a woman; but, he will most certainly exercise his spiritual fatherhood and will love the Bride of Christ, the Church.
Maybe a good advertisement for the priesthood would be: Wanted: Single Catholic Men who can see themselves as being dedicated, loving, and happy fathers and husbands.