My Father's Day Gift

Last Sunday as I was driving home to spend the day with my family, two of my children called me on my cell phone to wish me a happy Father’s Day. Yes…you read that correctly, I said two of my children. You see, besides being the Vocation Director for the Diocese, I am also part-time campus minister at Rhode Island College. So, on this special Sunday, two students that I know very well from their involvement in campus ministry called to let me know that they were thinking of me on Father’s Day.

Needless to say, it was a wonderful Father’s Day gift; I was truly touched by their thoughtfulness. And after the call ended I thought to myself: they get it. They understand the spiritual fatherhood of the priest. I call them my children because just as they acknowledged my spiritual fatherhood, I acknowledge that the Lord has entrusted them to my care in a special way. Like all priests, I am called to be a spiritual father, and it brings me a tremendous amount of joy knowing that these two students grasp that reality.

People will often ask a priest, “Father, don’t you wish you were married? Don’t you wish you had children of your own?” My response to this question is simple: I am married and I do have children. This is not wishful or delusional thinking; it is not something the priest conjures up so that he can “feel good” about himself since he does not have his own wife or biological children. Spiritual fatherhood is a profound truth that gives shape to the life of every priest. The priest gives himself to the Church as a husband gives himself to his wife, and the priest is called to be a spiritual father to the children that God has entrusted to him.

The great St. Paul wrote about his own spiritual fatherhood to his children in Corinth: “Even if you should have countless guides to Christ, yet you do not have many fathers, for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15). He understood that he was “fathering” his children as he preached the gospel. And as you read the Letters of St. Paul it is clear that he had true fatherly concerns: he experienced the anxiety of a father when he worried about his children; he experienced the sorrow and frustration of a father when his children strayed from the path of the Lord; and he experienced the joy and pride of a father when his children made progress in living the Christian life.

If a priest is to live his vocation to the fullest, then it is crucial that he grasp this concept of spiritual fatherhood; but it is also important for a man who is discerning a call to the priesthood. The truth is that a man who is discerning the priesthood ought to be able to see himself as being a good father and husband in the physical realm. If he can’t see himself as being a good father and husband, then he should not believe that he would make a good priest.

So, if any man believes he is sacrificing being a father and a husband when he becomes a priest, he is only partly correct. True, he will not have his own biological children nor will he share marital intimacy with a woman; but, he will most certainly exercise his spiritual fatherhood and will love the Bride of Christ, the Church.

Maybe a good advertisement for the priesthood would be: Wanted: Single Catholic Men who can see themselves as being dedicated, loving, and happy fathers and husbands.

Surrender

On Saturday, June 2, four men were ordained priests for the Diocese of Providence. Priesthood ordinations are always a tremendous grace for the Church. For me, Ordination Day is always a time of personal grace and renewal. Whenever I concelebrate an ordination Mass, it brings me back to the day when I was ordained a priest of Jesus Christ. I always leave the ordination Mass with renewed commitment to the vocation which I have been called to live.

One of the most poignant moments of the ordination rite occurs when the men to be ordained prostrate themselves. During this moment, the Church invites them to ritualize what should already have taken place in their hearts: they are surrendering to the Lord, laying down their lives to serve Christ and the Church. The man to be ordained literally lies down on the floor of the cathedral as a symbol that he is giving his life to the Lord; he is willing to do what the Lord asks and go wherever the Lord wants him to go.

Surrender: this interior disposition is absolutely essential to a life of holiness and particularly important for the man who is called to the priesthood. A man who is called to be a priest must be willing to lay down his life for Christ and the Church. The prayer that must reverberate in the soul of the man who is called to the priesthood is: “Lord, wherever you want me to go, I will go; whatever you want me to do, I will do. I am yours.”

Why is this prayer and disposition of surrender so important? Because when God calls a man to be a priest, the Lord is asking that man to literally give his humanity as an instrument for the salvation of souls. Christ says to that man: “give me your very self so that I may live in you. As a priest, you are not called to live for yourself; I want to live in you. Surrender to me.”

Whatever vocation you are called to, surrendering to the Lord is a vital part of the spiritual life. We should not be afraid of this invitation to surrender to him. It is not the kind of surrender which leads to imprisonment; rather, it is precisely by surrendering to him that we live in true freedom.

Pray for these men who were recently ordained. Pray that their hearts will stay surrendered to Jesus and that they will be living images of Christ to the people they serve. Pray for yourself as well. Are you being attentive to the voice of the Lord in your heart calling you to surrender to him? Do not be afraid, for by surrendering to him, you will see more clearly the path he has chosen for you.

Here's a beautiful prayer of surrender written by Charles de Foucauld:

Prayer of Abandonment
Father,
I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.

Macey's Wisdom

“I need to stop worrying about what I don't have and start being thankful for what I do have.” These words were spoken just the other day by Macey King, the seven year old daughter of my friends Scott and Kim. At a certain point in the day, Kim went to check on Macey and she found her in her bedroom praying the rosary. So when Macey was finished with her prayers, she approached her mom and uttered those words of wisdom. It was a thought that must have come to her in prayer.

By the way, Macey has cancer. For the last several months her little body has been ravaged by the effects of chemotherapy. I visited with the Kings at the end of March and personally witnessed Macey’s suffering and heroism, along with Scott and Kim’s strong faith, unshakable hope and unconditional love. At the time, Macey’s throat was filled with soars and she could barely swallow; she had lost her hair and her neck was a bit discolored; and she was obviously skinnier than most children her age. The good news is that the chemo, along with a lot of prayer, has eliminated the tumor. However, she still has more chemo treatments to endure.

The words Macey spoke to her mom teach us a fundamental lesson about life. We all need to take time to ponder the many blessings we have in our lives so that we can be filled with the spirit of gratitude. So often we get caught up in thinking about everything that’s going wrong in our lives. We get caught up in the worries and the problems. We let people get under our skin. We fret about the future and all the things that could go wrong. We get angry as we wait in traffic or lose our patience as we wait in line at the store. All the while our minds are filled with negative thoughts and our hearts are filled with frustration and these serve to suck the joy and energy of life right out of us.

When is the last time you actually spent time in quiet to ponder the many blessings you have in your life? When is the last time you consciously allowed your heart to be filled with the spirit of gratitude for the gifts that God has given you? When is the last time you stopped worrying about what you don’t have and started being grateful for what you do have? Are you a person whose life is permeated with the spirit gratitude?

If you’re the type of person who feels stuck in your problems and is filled with pessimism and frustration, take young Macey’s advice. Gratitude has a way of breaking the pattern of pessimism and frustration. When we are filled with gratitude, there is little room for negativity in our lives. We can even be grateful in the midst of problems by asking, what can I be grateful for in this problem? What lesson can I learn here? What’s good about this problem? How will this problem help me to grow?

So, right now I challenge you: find a quiet spot and spend time in silence to thank God for the gifts and blessings in your life. Really ponder the blessings in your life: your family, friends, gifts, and talents. Write them down. Take as long as you want and just write down all the blessings you can think of. You’ll be amazed at the list and it will help you to foster the spirit of gratitude. And while you’re making your list, don’t forget to add Macey to it.